Catching up..

Last post was in March – wow. Certainly gives an indication of how interesting life is here in Iowa. Don’t know whether this may be a symptom of blogger’s block or not. It seems that even some of the most interesting blogs eventually either grind slowly down or deteriorate into minutia of day to day existence that really isn’t that riveting. Whatever the case, it seems that my creative juices get stirred the most when I am outraged about something. Maybe I’m calming down as I age. (yeah – right).

Now it seems that blogger will not allow me to edit and format this blog in their "compose" mode. I can get around in HTML but web technology has really progressed to where expecting WYSIWYG shouldn't be extraordinary. Blogger, I've moved this blog once, I can always move it again. But I digress.

Winter has descending on Iowa in full suck. Temperatures the first week of December hovered around zero at night while temperatures in Juneau, Alaska were in the 30s. What’s wrong with this picture? The first measurable snowfall of the season left 4” on the streets and the usual horde of clueless motorists learned all over again that this strange white stuff could ruin your plans as you selected your speed from two options – too slow or too fast. The Des Moines street department apparently uses snow as a Darwinian device to remove drivers from the roads since they steadfastly refuse to start to clean the streets until after the snow has stopped. Ten o’clock news casts become slide shows of bewildered doofuses standing beside vehicles firmly ensconced in ditches that arrived there by way of excessive speed coupled with a lack of understanding the coefficient of friction between rubber and frozen water.

I really find it ironic that the season of the year where people are in a frenzy of shopping, traveling and merry making has, largely because of climate change, become a season of very difficult, hazardous and dangerous travel. Years ago the coldest weather occurred in January and the holiday season experienced gentle snows and temperatures in the 20s and 30s. It’s been pretty obvious for some time that nature is trying to get our attention “Hey!! You people are screwing this up!” but it becomes particularly pointed as each December seems to get a bit worse. My extended family finally gave up and now celebrates the holidays in October or early November. I’m sure that there are some who would point to a deeper meaning of Christmas that now seems nearly forgotten.

Over the weekend spent seven hours rehearsing and the performing annual “sing along Messiah”. Tonight playing quintet gig at local hospice. In college I could play with a different group every day and performances most nights and still play dance jobs on Friday and Saturday. Nothing says aging quite like the fact that I need some recovery time.

So as I grind on toward retirement next June, after which I may have more time to ruminate by way of this medium, I’ll try to find more interesting tidbits to share here.

Winter in the Midwest and Abject Stupidity

When I moved to Iowa, no one told me that it was also fondly known as Baja Minnesota.

"Hey, you used to live in Illinois - what's the big deal?"

I'll tell you what the big deal is; blizzards. Not just snow, but piles upon piles of snow backed up by 40 mph winds and followed by days of below zero temperatures with -30 degree wind chills. Snow comes in from Nebraska horizontally. In Illinois a big snowfall is usually followed by kids sledding, building snowmen, ice skating on farm ponds. Not so in Iowa. After a snow in Iowa people of all age groups huddle indoors listening to the wind scream around the eaves and try to conjure up realistic sounding excuses for not showing up for school, work, church, or whatever other organization is fool hardy enough not to cancel their activities. Oh yeah, I almost forgot. Whenever it snows in Iowa it first lays down at least a quarter inch of ice which arrives as freezing rain. Gotta love that when you go out to get in your car.

Ah yes, the car. There is a macho mindset in Iowa that nothing can stop commerce/business and if you can actually see the doorway to a place of enterprise it will somehow try to open no matter what the depth of the drifts in the streets. So one must climb into the vehicle and venture forth.

Problem 1: In Iowa snow removal does not start until the storm ends. That's right, if the storm lasts 4 days and deposits 28 inches of snow, not a plow, not a salt truck, not a sand spreader will creep from the city barns until bright sunshine is clearly visible and not a flake still floats in the air. Calls to the department of public works invariably brings the response "The main arteries were clear by 7:00 AM". This is little comfort as you sit on one of the aforesaid arteries hung up by the frame of your car in the middle of a 6 foot drift. Worse, the city employees trusted with the responsibility of clearing the streets suffer from "seasonal amnesia" where they forget from year to year what the white stuff falling out of the sky is and how to deal with it. Thus for at least the first two blizzards, no street clearing activities take place whatsoever.

Problem 2: All native born Iowans had as their last vehicle a horse and buggy. That can be the only explanation for their total inability to make the slightest effort to observe traffic laws and courtesies. Turn signals? Just rip that lever right off the column, Pa, we won't ever be using it. Changing lanes? Just change, if there is anyone behind you they'll look out for themselves. Turns? Just turn from whatever lane you happen to be in to any direction you wish, someone will look out for you. No parking places? Just park in the street and walk away - seriously, on any given day the streets are full of cars abandoned in traffic lanes while the owners run in for a donut or whatever. And all this is when the streets are clear, dry and in the light of day. When the snow starts, the seasonal amnesia sets in and as one, Iowa natives believe that bad weather driving consists of a single rule "drive as fast as you can and everyone else will get out of your way".

Let's face it, there's a theme here - which will turn up again and again in this blog and it is that the great majority of people are STUPID. Half the people you meet are below average intelligence - think about it - and that average has been falling steadily since the late 1800s (don't believe this? get hold of an 8th grade math book from the 1890s and look at the problems. Give these to the high school student who needs a picture of a burger on the key of the fast food cash register in order to ring up your order and see what results you get.) STUPID I tell you, STUPID.